So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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