how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
