I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
