Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
