I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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