took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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