just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
