Already got asked if we're dating
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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