Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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