She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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