I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
