She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
