we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
