Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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