What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
