it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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