Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
