I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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