Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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