she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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