Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
