she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize