worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
