hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
