found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
