i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize