insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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