i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
