I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
