When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
