dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Found your dick twin last night
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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