I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize