Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize