i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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