You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
