So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
