We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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