apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
