real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
