i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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