I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
