I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize