pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
