Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
