Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Bring me that man meat
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
