Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
