i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize