Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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