You were right. It hurts to walk today.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize