Joe is yelling at the trees again.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
