That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
