I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
