ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize