There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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