I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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