Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
