That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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