Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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