Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
