You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
