just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Everything about him screamed your future.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
