I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
